Ralph Thomas: Dinner Appointments

For the Visually Impaired

Ralph Thomas is dressed up smart, sat at the table ready for dinner. The title is "Dinner Appointments by Ralph Thomas"

Scene: Two missionaries sit at the table hugely fat and almost ready to burst.
Host: Keep eating boys! I don't want any leftovers!

Scene: A Missionary stares in horror glaring on what is on his plate.
Host: Hope you boys like cow tongue.

Scene: The Hair: A Missionary pulls a hair from his mouth which was inside the food he has been eating.
Missionary (thinking): Gross

Scene: The Forgotten Appointment: An elderly lady has just finished eating. There is a knock at the door.
Elderly Lady: Oh no, The Elders.

Scene: 4 kids are fighting for the missionaries attention. One is holding a Missionaries tie pulling so hard that the Missionary cannot breathe. He says, "Do the tie trick! I am blowing on your tie." The rest of the kids are fighting because they want to sit next to the other Missionary.

Scene: A dirty looking guy is serving spaghetti bolognese with his hands.
Host: "Don't worry, my hands are clean."

Scene: The Family Feud: The Missionaries are cowering behind the table and the Host and his wife are screaming at each other.
Man: "Why don't you just get on your broom and fly a few laps around the kitchen?"
Wife: "Why don't you get a real job so that I could have a big enough kitchen to do it in?"

All dinner appointments are needed & appreciated, but some I will always remember.