Ralph Thomas: Greenie Mentality

For the Visually Impaired

Scene: A greenie is looking in the mirror, obviously proud of himself.
Greenie: "Wow, look at me! I'm a Missionary!"

Scene: Greenies want to gain two years of experiences in one month. They want to:

  1. Wear a hole in their shoes: The Greenie inspects the bottom of his shoe thinking "hmmm ... not yet."
  2. Gain Accent: The Greenie practices before his phone call home ... "Pawk the Caw in Hawvid yawd ... Pawk the Caw in ..."
  3. Have a door slammed in their face: A door slams, the Greenie says excitedly "Wow!"
  4. Get chased by a dog: A dog chased the Greenie who is riding hard on his bike. the Greenie says excitedly "Wow, my first one."
  5. Meet a crazy guy: An investigator explains "I'm Brigham Young! Reincarnated!"

Narrator: They want all of these experiences to happen so they can write neat things in their letters home. Ever notice they're always in a half daze, walking out in front of cars, running into the back of you. It's because they're planning their homecoming talk.

Scene: The Greenie writes eagerly ... he has written a pile of hundreds of letters.
Narrator: For a little while they'll write every person they know on P. Day ... doesn't last long.

Ralph Thomas: And remember that no matter what kind of trainer you are, your Greenie will think that you are a lousy Missionary until about 5 companions later, then he will realize that you were the best companion he had. Signed Ralph Thomas.