Tips on Taking Investigators to Church

For the Visually Impaired

Narrator: "If the talks get deep or teach false doctrine it's time to pull out the family pictures. Keep a lot in your wallet."
Person giving talk: "And that's when it came to me that Pepsi is of the Devil."
Missionary: "Did I ever show you my family? That's my Aunt Mildred."

Narrator: You need to make sure that before you bring them to Church you explain that in our Church there is:

  1. No doughnuts & coffee: "Where's the doughnuts and coffee? I'm hungry!"
  2. No money tray: "Who do I give this too?"
  3. No clapping after musical numbers.
  4. 3 hours worth of meetings.
  5. No congregational participation: "AMEN, PRAISE THE LORD!!!"
  6. Lots of kids because it's a family Church: "Waaaaah Waaaaah"

Coming to Church is our biggest converter, aside from it's moments. Signed Ralph Thomas.